The be-all, end-all response to “ANSWER MUH QUESTIONS”.

Well-intentioned, genuine questions are a cornerstone to learning and growing. Disingenuous, loaded, and leading questions aren’t. One often rehashed apolotrash tactic that victims of religion like to use is the “10 questions that atheists/skeptics/humanists can’t answer” gambit. It goes like this:

1. I have this list of “gotcha” questions
2. You better answer them, even though I’ve turned off comments (or will delete your comments) and will ignore any attempt that you undertake to answer them
3. See, you didn’t and can’t answer them and I wasted your time, nyah nyah
4. Lather, rinse, repeat

In that spirit, here’s a list of hundreds of questions that you can feed these types to keep them busy. Some are serious, many are silly, all of them demonstrate how old hat this trope is. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to delete Yahwallahan comments and block them, since they don’t have any real answers.

1. Why can’t you provide a coherent, rational, and meaningful definition of this “god” thing you keep going on about?
2. If you even could do that, what are the properties of this “god” thing?
3. How did you reliably determine these properties?
4. Since you have no idea what this “god” thing is, what business do you have trying to tell anyone else about it?
5. If your “god” thing is such a mystery, how can you say anything sane about it?
6. If your “god” thing is so beyond us, what point is there in trying to do anything for it?
7. If this “god” thing is so beyond us, what business do you have telling us what to do when you can’t know what it wants?
8. If “god is wholly other” as has been said by some, what good is it to prattle on about it?
9. If your “god” thing had foreknowledge that its creation would be imperfect and fall to ruin, why would it create this?
10. Why is your “god” thing’s will effective rather than ineffective?
11. Why would this “god” thing (especially if it’s “perfect”) bother to be offended by anything?
12. Since we’ve never had a supernatural explanation replace a natural explanation, what good is the supernatural?
13. For that matter, do you have a rational, coherent, and meaningful definition of supernatural?
14. What about a rational, coherent, and meaningful definition of this “soul” thing?
15. If this “god” thing created everything and everything needs a creator, what created this “god” thing?
16. If this “god” thing is uncreated, how did you determine that outside of “because I said so”?
17. Are you really comfortable with a vast amount of people suffering the maximum possible torment forever?
18. When did you realize you would have to lie to defend your faith?
19. How can you seriously talk about “free will” being a thing when an omniscient being would make that thoroughly contradictory?
20. Since you don’t really know what this “god” thing is, how can you say theism is accurate and correct?
21. Since you don’t have 100% of all knowledge, how do you know that an “anti-god” event hasn’t happened that annihilated all of these “god” things throughout space and time?
22. When did you realize prayer was useless and worthless?
23. When did you realize you could use your religion to justify your terrible behavior?
24. Since you can just get a shot of relief for your conscience by asking your “god” thing for it, why not do whatever awful thing you feel like?
25. Why are you so weirdly obsessed with raping babies to make moral points?
26. If your “god” thing knows everything that was, is, and will be, why pretend this life can be a fair test of character?
27. Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? (commonly attributed to Epicurus)
28. How do you know the “good guy” wrote your magic book when your “bad guy” could tell perfect lies?
29. If you hear voices telling you that “god” is telling you to do something, how do you know it’s not the “bad guy” or just you?
30. If you claim morality can only come from your “god” thing, how did you figure out that your “god” thing is the good one?
31. Is the pious loved by the gods because it is pious, or is it pious because it is loved by the gods? (Plato)
32. Do you understand that trying to answer the above with “god’s nature” isn’t an answer, and at best just pushes it back a step?
33. Does your “god” thing not have control over its own nature?
34. When did you realize you have to steal your ethics from humanism since your religion is morally bankrupt?
35. Why are you so enamored of dictators past and present when trying to score points in debate?
36. When did you realize that no god that demands your total subservience is ever going to give you any real meaning?
37. Which version of your myth book is the correct one?
38. How did you determine this?
39. How do you in good conscience, explain away the obvious and voluminous contradictions and errors in your myth book?
40. If your “god” thing wants to have a loving relationship, it should ensure people follow the correct method of worship. Why would it allow incorrect practices, religions, and denominations?
41. If you claim to have a “relationship” with this “god” thing, where’s the unambiguous communication that a relationship requires?
42. Why would this “god” thing really need you to abandon critical thinking?
43. Why would this “god” thing have an expiration date on when you can accept salvation from it?
44. Do you understand that having evidence for your “god” thing would not impede people’s choice to obey him or not?
45. Do you understand that “free will” is not an argument for not providing this evidence?
46. Why won’t your “god” thing heal amputees?
47. Since it can be used to justify anything, why would you ever think that faith is a reliable path to truth?
48. Do you think maligning and being ignorant of science, especially biology (evolution) and cosmology really makes your case for your religion?
49. If you cry about “scientism”, when is your cancellation date for your ISP and mobile data?
50. If “I feel like it’s right” is good enough to justify something, why can’t someone else use “I feel like it’s not right” to nullify that justification?
51. Since you believe that everything came from nothing with the absurd addition of a magic man poofing everything into existence, why do you try passing your mythology off on non-believers?
52. Since you think mindlessly worshiping your “god” thing forever is the best thing possible, where do you get off talking about atheists not having any purpose or meaning?
53. If your “god” thing is all good, can do anything, and knows everything, could it trick you in the short term to achieve a greater good later?
54. If so, do you realize that you can’t have a foundation for logic, knowledge, or rationality since they could be part of the trick?
55. If not, do you realize that’s you saying your “god” thing can’t do something?
56. Why do you pretend atheists worship your “bad guy” when they don’t believe in your imaginary enemy either?
57. Why are you really so terrified of atheists?
58. Why are you so needy for atheist approval?
59. Since you’ll come up with any excuse, any distraction, or any lie to dismiss what atheists say, why should anyone take you seriously?
60. Why does doubt scare you so much?
61. Why is it you can never honestly deal with what atheism really is?
62. Do you think telling atheists what their atheism is will ever actually work?
63. Do you think pretending atheists don’t exist is a good tactic?
64. If you pretend atheists don’t exist, why do you bother trying to convince them of your “god” thing so much?
65. On that note, did you know pretending that atheism doesn’t exist doesn’t work either?
66. Did you know that casting atheists as angry or emotional isn’t actually an argument against atheism?
67. Were you aware that just saying “atheism is stupid” doesn’t make it so?
68. When you try to cast out some of your own who do terrible things and make them out to be atheists (or say they aren’t “True Yahwallahans”), do you think we don’t notice?
69. When did you realize that whining about atheist “tone” was just a dodge?
70. Do you think that dishonoring veterans by claiming “there are no atheists in foxholes” is a good strategy?
71. When you say non-believers are in “rebellion”, you do know that’s presuming an authority that is something more than “because I said so” you’ve yet to demonstrate, right?
72. You do realize that all the arguments for “god” have all been thoroughly dismantled several times over?
73. Did you know that all the arguments for “god” are useless without verifiable, objective evidence?
74. Why is it you’ll scrutinize your toothpaste selection more intently than this “god” thing?
75. Since perfect justice is contrary to perfect mercy, how can you claim this “god” thing has both?
76. How did you determine your “god” thing is the correct one?
77. How did you determine that your interpretation of your “god” thing’s wants is correct?
78. You do know that Sophisticated Theology™ amounts to glorified fan fiction, right?
79. Since prayer is useless because you aren’t going to change divine plans (and if you could it would break them), why pretend it’s virtuous?
80. If this “god” thing wants a relationship so badly with all people, why remain hidden and allow misinterpretation, hate, strife, and more by its lack of clear communication?
81. If this “god” thing is so powerful, couldn’t it make our moral options equally good ones at all times?
82. When did you realize that you didn’t have “objective morality”, just a “might makes right” moral philosophy?
83. For that matter, why do you think “the ends justify the means” works as a moral philosophy?
84. Do you think endorsing slavery and genocide really gives you “objective morality”?
85. Do you realize when you say “atheism is a religion” you just mark yourself as someone trapped in the terrible religion of calling atheism a religion?
86. Did you know that victims of the awful religion of calling atheism a religion have no credibility about anything because of their horrible cult’s reality distorting influence, least of all anything about atheists or atheism?
87. If your go to response to atheists is to push the “Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot” button, do you think your dictator fetish is a good thing to air in public?
88. Since all these dictators were all part of your “god” thing’s supposed plan, what problem could you really have with them for doing its will?
89. If you immediately run to “atheism equals communism or fascism” trope, you do realize that atheists will just laugh at you for this tired old and thoroughly refuted apolotrash, right?
90. You do realize that when you say “this is a Yahwallahan nation” it exposes that religion is a ploy to score political power, right?
91. Did you know that you don’t have the Real Ultimate Bible?
92. How can you claim this “god” thing is good when Furries & Bronies exist?
93. Aren’t you aware that Hitler, Stalin, and the rest are the superchildren of Jesus & Mohammed and killed because they loved their daddies?
94. Did you know Hitler founded Real American Christianity?
95. Did you know Stalin founded the Religion of Calling Atheism a Religion?
96. Since both teams at a sports game will have people praying for them, does this cancel the prayers out, or is it about which team more powerful or more numerous prayers?
97. Why should any non-believer trust you given you’d put us to death at your earliest opportunity?
98. Since you have to steal your logic, rationality, morals, and decency from humanists and atheists, where do you get off calling them stupid and degenerate?
99. Since you’ll need to find ways to dismiss the questions on this list to avoid cognitive dissonance, why should we bother answering or believing you?
100. Since you’ve lied so readily about reality, atheists, and atheism consistently, why should anyone person bother listening to you?
101. Now that you’ve been thoroughly triggered by this list, are you going to stop this tactic?

And there you go. Questions no Yahwallahan will ever even dare answering, and lots of them.

Other Resources

• 78 Questions for Christians – Hehmant Metha
• Questions No Christian Can Answer! – Nonsequitur Show